Tuesday, November 15, 2005

>>| not from some unknown person

i walked off to a privately public place this afternoon. i think 20 (or less) adults yung nandun. and i consider them as adults, kasi obviously nasa 10 years (or more) ang age gap namin.

i was just evenly sitting on the sofa and waiting for a hired hand to handle me. sobrang mind-numbing nung spot ko nun, at feeling ko long-drawn-out talaga magstay dun. pero i can't call off na lang ng basta kaya i have to delay leaving that place.

then, may nag-on nung radio.

omfg! may amusement na ko.

taking the music in makes my mood again. ayos! buti na lang astig yung napili nilang station, at hindi yung songs from their era. hehe.

mas ayos na sana eh.. distraction nga lang yung isa dun.

hala react! free naman tayong magreact eh.

pero tahimik lang akong nakinig sa kanta saka dun sa matandang mas malakas pa yung volume. malapit na yung time ko eh. malapit na kong umalis dun sa site na yun. err! ilang minutes na lang ako na.........

pero bago yun, nagsalita yung isang matabang babae na bagong dating. nagkwento lang tungkol sa pagiging babae niya. tapos maya-maya yung bakla naman ang nagsalita. nagbigay pa ng joke na tinawanan nila without knowing it's meaning. gago diba?! tumawa sila kahit hindi nila alam yung sinabi nung bakla. tumawa lang sila dahil alam nilang nakakatawa yun. ni hindi nila alam kung nilalait na ba sila o kung pinagtatawanan na nila mismo yung mga sarili nila. nakakatuwa silang panoorin eh, ang stupid nila tignan kahit mukha naman silang well-educated creatures. haha. another amusement ko ba? siguro nga. inaantok na kasi ako nun eh.



.........................................blag!!!

(shit! my receiver splits up!)

"ayy nahulog yung CP mo"
"tsk tsk"
"ayan nagkalas"
"nahulog yung CP niya"
"nawasak yun malamang"
"tumayo ka na para pulutin"
"oo nga"
"kunin mo agad"
"ang lakas nung pagkakabagsak nun ah"
"sira yun malamang"
"napunta dun yung isang part"
"hindi. dumi yan. ayun yung CP nya"
"meron pa dun sa kabilang side oh"


and blah blah blah! seems like lahat na nga ng expression pag may nahulog or nasira eh narinig ko dun. still, tahimik lang ako. wala akong binigkas na kahit anong mura nung nahulog yun. nagulat din naman ako eh, pero hindi ako nag over act. hindi naman totally na nasira eh, bumagsak lang. at kung masira man, edi ipagawa o bumili ng bago. ang simple diba? kaya nga calmed pa rin ako na kinuha yun eh. ibang iba sa kanila. pero wala rin namang mali sa ginawa nila eh. though wala rin akong sinasabing tama yun. may right naman kasi sila magreact eh.

kahit naman ako eh, kung sinagot ko sila that moment dahil na-annoyed ako, right ko rin yun! hindi tama na gawin ko pero hindi rin mali. bakit ano bang naitulong ng mga naging reactions and opinions nila?

ang hirap kasi, mahilig tayong makielam sa maraming bagay. inaabuso natin yung rights na yan. sinasanay nating laging magbigay ng opinion kahit hindi naman hinihingi o kailangan.

this fuckining opinions is fine if it is needed, as well as if it is logical.

for instance, dun sa mga school works ko.. i do call for our advisers assistance for our thesis para sa quality nung docu & system namin through the preparation, development, and completion nung study. kailangan namin ng related ideas, reviews, and critics para mas mapaganda yun.

as well as, when i purchase several items sa mall at may salesman/saleslady na mag-ooffer sa akin ng ibang brand. i-ignore ko man sila o hindi, job nilang kausapin ako at magbigay ng positive statements about it. hindi ko man hingin yung side nila, ok lang na magsalita sila ng magsalita. rational kasi yun eh.

and how does it become distinctive?

mostly, ito yung mga reactions natin na walang sense kung minsan. like on how we advise sa mga friends natin sa mga situations nilang to some extent nonsensical din.

"shit ano bang irereply ko?"
"wag ka na kaya magreply?"
"o kaya wag mo na lang sabihin yung totoo"
"tae.. ano naming sasabihin ko?"
"mamaya kami magkikita. may papasabi ka?"
"tapos gaguhin mo"
"haha. gago"
"gago ka rin. tayo ang nag-gagaguhan eh"
"nakakainis naman eh. ang unfair."
"oh unfair? may iba ka pa rin naman diba? edi yun enjoy ka lang"
"oo nga. enjoy lang. tapos magreply ka jan sa katext mo para tumigil ka na"
"nagreply na ko!"
"anong sinabi mo?"
"edi yung sinabi nyo"
"oh? ano bang sinabi ko?"
"edi yung naunang matino"
"fuck.. matino pala yun."

yan yung conversation namin kanina ng group ko. ang labo pero may idea. we are free to express what we have in mind, kahit unpleasant terms pa yung gamitin namin or what-so-ever. humingi siya ng opinion kaya kami nagreact. pero ang illogical pa rin kasi puro kagaguhan lang naman yung sinabi namin. pwedeng gumulo lalo or umayos yung situation niya dahil lang sa simpleng message na yun eh. pero kahit anong sabihin namin, nasa kanya pa rin yung decision.

gaya nung pagtahimik na ginawa ko kanina nung nag-split up ang receiver ko, yun ang decision ko. i prefer not to say anything dahil wala namang maitutulong yun to fasten my receiver back to what it is before. hindi lang porket may rights tayo to express ourselves at mag-react eh lagi na lang natin yun gagamitin kahit nakaka- aggravate tayo ng ibang tao. yung ibang tao kasi na yun eh may rights din.

and that is the right for privacy and to live.

that adults should discern it. alam ko namang educated sila eh. wala naman sila dun kung hindi. pero yung pagiging mababaw nila kanina, parang nalimutan nila yung profile nila. they acted so poorly na halos squatters ang tingin ko sa kanila kanina. “squatters” in other means. nakakainis lang talaga kasi. hindi naman siguro ganon kadali malimutan ang humanity subject kung saan declared ang mga rights diba?

heh. i'm too smart for this crap that i suppose to appear polite even after that event. =)

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