black
blacker
blackest
tall
taller
tallest
best
bester (?)
bestest (??)
worse
worser (more worse)
worsest (much worse? haha)
All right, this is just what I have to do when I don't have any idea of the next.
Write.
Write anything that I would be thinking and will soon stop those unwanted emotions coming through. Sigh. It isn't that hard but I'm making it badly.
I have this hanky issue for almost 15 days and this is not a pab story to tell.
Right after retreat, another event will explode as our org commemorates (seeing that it'll be my last year to stick with those events).
And so, I bought 2 tix for the pre pageant night... one for me, and the other is reserved for whoever chap that will be tagging up. My girlfriends also bought their own tix and planned to support our classmate who'll be representing our section, but before the show started they had their own line of attacks and went off with their cronies (or followers as I call them).
I asked Bart to see me at the front gate as I get there. He waited as if calmed for several minutes until I showed up. I shut for a while, thinking he is already pissed off. He noticed it as he holds close and tight, almost saying 'apology accepted'.
We were there the whole show, seated at the last row in the center, making lines and sweet jests. It wasn't disturbing, and wasn't the PDA as couples does.
The days after the next seem to be superb, purely like the days before it was (referring to our retreat). We exchange letters to lines, double up the laughs, and tell the likes. I didn't lose the count. We exist even at dawn. He'll drive me home and kisses the night. Everyday is a happy day. Everyday lasts.
A week speed up, and we are still we.
Another event will soon be boosting around our org. Bart and their section will organize the early 7o'clock mass and a day-to-afternoon seminar, while we're about to design for the 'battle of the bands' to be tolerated that night.
Night came, and I'm under the weather. He ordered 2 tix for us and escorted me. I can't snub his invitation just because of that fever. It's all set. So, I go.
As printed, we went there on time.
Many were still alarmed about us. They gag and ask us how we were, and we have to tell them nothing.
Then after the mingling sessions, we went inside, placing ourselves on the last center table (our preferred place to settle). We parked there, watching how the staffs assist the bands to perform in a while, and the wine waiters that were not yet done with their handiwork.
I chanted with the music they played. Stuck and bored I consider, Filipino time my dear, the guest will arrive later than the late. Heave a sigh, fluky me that the tracks were from the Eheads Tribute. I am to enjoy the music and the music itself as is. He hums and rather stares. I did stare too, but not as lengthy as he could. A little annoyed of what he is doing, I cut back and initiated, asking the stupidest question one could ask. And as expected, he answered with the stupidest answers he could think of. That way, we may perhaps overlook whichever sluggishness we were in.
The battle started later than our patience of one hour. Tip.. Tipsy.. Tip.. Tipsy.. Tip.. More bands to go and I see myself half way drunk. Yet, I can still drink for I could still notice my ex to perform that night. Well yea, I had him on my cam though it was a blurry shot. Cheers! More sober for me and for him!! I'm not yet drunk that time, i'm just half drunk.. So I am to drink another half of the half of what is half.
I didn't sob.
I didn't struggle.
I didn't squeal.
What I did next is to ask him... ask him to bring me home right away.
He told me to relax but I didn't listen. I don't want to stay there, its loud, of course it is.
I insist what I wanted so he had no choice but to go after.
The battle wasn't over as we walked out. I know what's going on while my head spins. I may well hear those who screamed for their desired 'fag band'. That was really loud that I am about to bloat... and the next thing he did is to hand me his hanky.
I returned home safely like a baby with her nanny. Then, I went upstairs without thinking how he will exit mom's interrogation. I slept as soon as I entered my room. I didn't even bother to think of my things.
Next morning, I woke up remembering my idiocy the night before. I smiled as I saw his hanky next to me. Then, I looked for my cam and phone. Present! It was there! Haha. But I can't find my glasses. Perhaps, I misplaced it somewhere.
Forgetting about the glasses, I still have my phone. So what I did next is to send him an apology note.
A day after, he replied but he's seemingly awkward. As it become constant...
But I can't turn the time back to correct my wrong doings. I just have to accept each upshot. Consequences as is.
I act contrite though nothing happens.
I cry.
I rant.
I bleed.
I've been doing this for 15 days, and yes it's counting. It won't stop there as is. I know it won't. For as long as I feel the pain of yesterdays, the hanky will be tightly tied up in my wrist, with my heartbeat.
Maybe this is my destiny. To be able to know you that quick before you have to leave me that swift. That was nice. Sure it is. And though you're causing me pain, I'm still thankful for what our destiny did.
Next time, I promise not to drink again.
I promise not to drink again.
I promise not to drink again.
I promise not to drink again.
No, I won't be typing it 100x or more.
I'll try to stop here and type it for the last time, all in caps.
I PROMISE NOT TO DRINK AGAIN WHEN I AM SICK.
A pretty good pledge right?
Genie, I command you to do my wish as I have my vow!
"I'll be wishing that after this life, destiny may let us meet again."
Fuckshit.
It was like a... once upon a time without a happy ending.
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