It's already 12:56am and this is relaxing. I'm finally in my place (on the pc to be exact) with the tracks that plays for almost a hundredth time. Everything is back as is as I dredge up all those occurrences happened, hours (by hours) ago.
I'm about to leave at 10:30am, half an hour early for our 1st class. Till the phone rang and...
"Hey, it's me Jovie... remember?"
"Uh, yeppy... you need something?"
"Oh, are you in hurry? I just wanted to talk to you, after 8 years of..."
"Wow, you still know my number ah?"
"Sure does... how's life? Graduating ka na right?"
"Hopefully, yes"
"You still have that voice from the past... you know? It's still innocently sweet but actually not"
"I don't know where you catch those words but it does awakes me"
The call ended up before my class starts. Thanks God I'm not late, however, it certainly grip my mind for the whole hour. A piece from the past keeps on rotating though it's stagnant. And his façade was blurring inside. After eight years, he finally called and said those lines I need at present. Should I be pleased that someone remembered? Btw, he's my first boyfriend in grade school.
Then, the news alarmed 10 minutes before 1 o'clock; There'll be no classes for our last subject. Wow. That was sharp. But we still left the room 10 minutes after, and had our habit outside. I saw James waiting there for a ride. I walk in without expecting him to call out, but he did... yea he did yell out my name that I leaned back to give him my warm smile. That's the second "J" to buzz me.
Next up. Home.
Switch of dress code and so.
Got back at the camp at 1pm. My girl friends were still having their lunch so I decided to warm up outside. The cig was burning in average as JM hits me with a kiss on my forehead.
"Yosi girl..."
"Haha. I'm done baby"
"Calling me baby ha ate?"
As our hands clasped and went inside the store.
"Wow... hell of a playboy chief ah"
"Girl, what's with the sinned hand"
"Fools that keeps on fooling... haha... What's wrong with it?"
"Soooo defensive?"
"Have you seen Jice?"
"Not yet"
"Well, he's already waiting for you outside"
"Absorbing the pain you will give him later upon seeing JM"
"Lament oh lament...Hahaha... I have to go na pala"
"Hold on a sec" JM whispered... he gave me a warm embrace and kissed me again. "I love you hon, Ingat ha". Embracing him back, I just smiled for it was the third buzz I'll be having.
Jice stood there for an hour and I'm sooo late but I think it's still okay for he truly understands... well, he constantly does, and will always be. And so, we spent the other 8 hours together, exhibiting what's more to be seen. For all times, his approach never failed. He's willing to help and be that "someone" around. He even tried to smoke again, once I did. I can't feel him though I'm pleased to have him as a friend, or perhaps, a suitor behind.
"Can I walk you home?"
"Maybe some other time..."
"Ok... Uh, I'll still be in the line, waiting"
"Thanks"
"He's my 4th buzz", I told myself as I walk through the blocks and suddenly got a message from JM.
"Hi hon... I miss you."
"Hey... I just got home. I'm running out of credits na. Give me a call after a min"
And as soon as I entered my room, the phone rang and it was Jobert, my "boyfriend". At last, he remembered. It's such a miracle happened, I can clearly hear the 5th buzz on the phone.
"Oh what makes you so busy?"
"Huh? Who's this?"
"Who else do you expect to call you?"
"Ah... oh... Why?"
"What time ka umuwi?"
"I just got home"
"Sige, I'm going there"
"But it's late at 9..."
"So, ayaw mo?"
"Can you make it in a lower tone?"
"What?"
"Double time your world... sige na, I'll be waiting inside"
A quick call that ends up so nonsense, oh I don't know... we always have that typical talk as friends do. Well, we're much of a "tropa" than being "committed". And it's really something to bother me at all times.
Then, the phone rang again and I assume its JM. We talked for some point until Jobert came. I have to hang it up before Jobert acts oddly.
"Khei's outside eh, can you call me later?"
"Uh, let's go out tomorrow..."
"Ok. I'll see you up after lunch."
I didn't bring out my guitar. I wanted a talk that'll set the outside world with much attention. And it started in a different way, not what I presume.
"Tell me the truth, sinong kasama mo kanina?"
"I went there alone, why are you questioning me?"
"Nakita ka ng tropa eh"
"You're not the one who has seen it right?"
"Just tell me the truth"
"That's the truth. I'm with no one ok."
So, I lied in every question he asked even if there's a basis. But I'm considering it as a white lie, for it's not that cruel, in my means. I just had the fucking nerve to lie over and over. Until he was calmed and almost believed in the damn things I said.
It was cold beyond and he was looking for a hug, the calming pressure made him to initial but I moved...
"What?"
"It's just a hug... look, I miss you"
"Wow. You do?"
"Hehe. Yea... Happy 4 months princess"
"4 months? I thought it's only a week"
"Haha... apat na buwan na tayo"
"Nasaan yung buwan?"
Err... the air turned me as cold as it is. That moment, it's like everything is erased from my memory. I can't even sense any love (for him). My mind merely sets to think of what will be the outcome of that talk. I want to break through. I want him no more. I want to escape from the reality that he still owns me, though "own" does not mean "authority", and so-so.
It turned 12 in the midnight...
"It's getting cold, you're supposed to get a rest inside"
"You know what? You can go now without those alibis if you want to"
"It's really getting cold..."
"Just leave."
"Ok. I'm going."
He closed the door while I'm glued on the bench. I didn't even glance. I don't care at all.
"Didn't mean to hurt you badly.. Don't think that I am fooling around with you.. So sorry for the time you've wasted on me.. So sorry for the things that you went through.. But I know that the problem's within me.. You're so nice but your love don't deserve me.. Or maybe I'm just so scared to fall in love again.." The music played and it speaks about something. And the lines, "Don't say goodbye, I need some time for a while before I give my heart away", that lines were beginning to stick up.
Angst.
Until, there's another call awaited in line for that same night. It's Jayson, an unforgotten dork I loved (or still?).
"Kumski!"
"Yep?"
"Gawa mo?"
"Nagsesenti..."
"Got a fight from the lion?"
"He's really a psychotic nerd"
Time elapses as I keep on talking. I can't stand the pain I felt (from my boyfriend). Jayson becomes the outlet of my grief. He had the funniest gag to poke me, making the pessimistic me to be the optimistic me. All me eh?
"Andito naman kasi ako, tatanga tanga ka pa"
"Haha. Excuse you!"
"Bright Girl ka sana eh"
"Pungik!"
"What's that term?"
"It defines YOU"
"haha. Ano nga yun? Pun-gik?"
"Uh, maliit.. parang ikaw"
"Parang ikaw hindi? Matangkad pa kaya ako sa'yo"
"Pero you are too small for a male height what-so-ever"
"Eh hindi yun maliit"
"Tae bastos ka nanaman"
"Hindi ako nakahubad"
"Grrrr..."
"Hahaha"
(sniff)
"Alam mo ang angas mo rin talaga"
"Bakit nanaman?"
"Wala naman.. Actually napasaya mo ko"
"At all times naman right?"
"Ganda ng banat mo eh"
(sniff again)
"May gusto akong sabihin"
"Ano?"
"Yun"
"Alin?"
"Nasabi ko na nga eh"
"Ang labo mo kaya"
(last sniff)
"What time is it?"
"12:30"
"Tanginang 12:30 yan, static na"
"Hahahaha"
"Pag 12:40 tayo na"
"Eh 12:50 na nga eh"
"Aww.. Edi tayo na"
"Hahaha. Is that a comeback?"
"Mahal..."
"Hahaha. Bakit mura?"
"Hahaha sige yan ang tawagan natin"
"Err.. that was just a joke"
That was fun and sweet. But he was funnier and sweeter. With me, that turned out to be the funniest and the sweetest.
Guess he's the 6th buzz and the last.
Now, I'm done =)
(after 2 hours of writing and reminiscing)
2 Comments:
Cool lookin blog!
By
BULLSEYE, at 5:39 PM
hey there.. thanks
By
Eihcamhai, at 6:09 PM
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