Nine hundred seventy two thousand seconds (or more)... that's the count I had in bed since yesterday. And it was considered to be the last bad condition I could have before the year ends. I'm still dizzy but I have to do my daily online habit (which is not this). But I just had a matter to write a while ago as I've been sipping mom's made herbal tea.
We're about to shop for some new materials this morning, but my fever is like forever, so mom decided to cancel it and just re-schedule it after this commotion. Guilt hasn't hit my mind. What did is the "in-mind" theory I always believe.
Realizing that "Hindi pala lahat ng sakit, mapapagaling mo dahil sa isip mo", though in some instance it's effective.
"It's just in your mind" as I always say when Irene's about to vomit (happened months ago). There, my words had been useful. But maybe, those words simply strengthen her. Things can be effective by words. So real! Same goes in love or in like issues.
And every time there's a particular guy I really want, I will tell myself "I can get him". Putting aside any glum, as I dare with time for that's what I have in mind. Well, it was good so far, 10 out of 10 as I assume.
But if these words are not as effective as it supposed to be, what will come next?
Medicines & Therapy could help us to restore our health. It can cure a disease only if it is the right drug for your sickness. For mild cases (like fever, the one I'm having), parents are familiar with the medicines to be used. But for some anomalous cases, doctor's prescriptions were necessary. Also, trying of medicines should be exact with the time and its measure. Otherwise, it'll be useless. And as to love (again), it's as same as is. I, myself tried to find the righteous man over and over. Like the drugs I took, those men were a part of me and my history. Sometimes, I listen for some advice (mom's, friends, or even lola's).
At present, I'm under mom's medication.
And at present, I'm committed with someone.
The use of the medicines and herbal teas cured my fever and sore throat. Mom's a good doctor to me. She really knows how to take care of her patient, her daughter. I sooo love my mom. =)
In the other hand, trying to feel affection for my boyfriend is so hard. Mostly, when I see him as a dead person, soon to be buried. He's nothing! Or maybe he is something, something of no use (compared to an ineffective drug because of expiration).
Lately, I've been thinking... I thought kulang lang kami sa time or whatnots. Pero that's not it. Maybe, if he is a drug, that drug wasn't for my disease. A wrong recommendation I tried that could mount such.
Also, upon taking any drugs, the user (ang hassle ng term, parang drug user... haha), or the patient (this is nicer), should trust his surgeon and the drug itself he takes. Having any faith will be as useful as the "in-mind" theory. It's what you believe to be true or is actually true.
Some takes their medicine but doesn't have any hope, so what's the use?
Hope is much to consider.
Medicine just comes in between.
And time,
Time is shifting.
It shifts and makes a medicine to soon expire and become useless.
So before it does,
In Mind,
Remedy,
And Believe.
eve before xmas:
[pick : stripedblack&white + red/green add-ons]
meeeep.. this is it.. i just had my nine mornings (or dawn mass as i call it) and an evening mass as christmas comes. everybody tagged and made my christmas fun. gifts and messages appear from time to time. wow. i love this time of the year. make christmas last forever =P
Happy Birthday Dear Jesus
and Merry Christmas everyone
"It's Christmas, all over the world tonight. It's Christmas, all over the world."
9th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : blued blue + striped white]
so where are we now? ah on my 9th morn.. hahaha. who'd forget the count eh this is it.. i went there as is with pride. hmm i can't find for any better term than that, so yea, pride. the pride of completing something i would really like to.. but its different with the pride that you may have in mind. hah! and as the mass ended, i felt something good. blessed? oh i don't know but it might be.. yea really. dad & i made it =) congrats 2 us. hahaha..
i'll not be late than later
promises!
8th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : chocolate + white add-ons]
tadah.. 1 more dawn mass to go ah!
i arrived 10 minutes before the mass started (and that's late than the usual). i bumped into the remnants as i entered (the church). they were like demons to spread over the side walls to buzz nonsensical matter and disturbs the people inside. i hate seeing them though hate isn't nice or good in God's eye. but i can't like them either. for me, they were too hard to like. squatters as is. unlike thy angel (the sacristan i like) that has been so striking.
tomorrow will be the last dawn i could see him.
and that'll be semi-heartrending, for i'm almost used to see him everyday (of the dawn).
sad isn't it?
7th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : heavenly white + blue]
seven is my lucky number just as before we have used it as our own.
but i don't believe in such nowadays.
for he's my biggest mistake.
my ex(s) were much better than him,
in pampering me,
or of loving as is.
father priest told us not to compare.
its a sermon to be optionally followed.
sorry father for i have sinned and will always will
(i think its better than lying)
6th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : dark brown + cream-black]
i'm not into young guys anymore, but there's this kiddo i feel like. fancy me oh fancy but i really crush him. see, he's a minor but i think we'll be good together. his angelic image pleases the eye of many as he carry himself being a sacristan. i, myself was strucked by it, or him indeed.
before the mass begins this morning, he brought the holy bible in the center while the people gathers gradually. dad and i placed ourselves in the aisle (nearby the center). and for that instance, i could probably see my angel (though his not mine.. haha).
he gazed at me before he left.
i wonder..
thus, it made me smile without anybody knowing it.
then after, the mass begins.
at the outset, i looked for him (as always).
..but i can't find him. he's not there.
and as the mass ended, i'm still up to play the game.
ugh, the hide and seek match! what else ne?
until i stepped out of the church,
hoping to see him as another day passes through
"if not today, i will wait for tomorrow"
haha. i suck. those words are not so meant. heh.
but it doesn't stop there.
next up, he was standing outside, staring innocently.
felt at ease, i am so pleased
and so, i just smiled gently and walked away.
too sweet that my angel haven't flown away yet =)
5th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : beige + black add-ons]
nothing new, except that i felt dead and unpretty today.
but hey, i made it even if i'm so exhausted.
jays called around 6am while i'm having my pajamas back.
he's making fun with it, sexy jokes what-so-ever.
it's stupidly good for 2hours.
i want him straight,
with the status "single"...
4th day of simbang gabi:
[pick : dark blue + gold]
wow. reactions might be overrated as well. who'd ever imagine that he'd walk me through the church? hah. is that my boyfriend? oh real? fucker. i thought i forgot having one. cause i've been acting so single in the past few days, though few means countless for the matter.
*sigh*
i'm not just used to it
"HE with ME"
d'uh!
(a fact to disappoint you, sweetheart)
3rd day of simbang gabi:
[pick : pastel pink + gray]
the on going mass was disrupted by the demons fight o'er the walls.
tsk.
lola tagged with me and dad, but dad came first.
we're not late though lots of seats were taken when we entered.
skirts are good without air blast.
i'm in feenk and i pretty like myself.
looks innocently sweet.
but revenge is sweeter.
all the same eh?
pink + blue
equals me and you
hahaha
i saw john, and he's still attractive
guess that i want him, again.
2nd day of simbang gabi:
[pick : lime + royal blue]
almost the same as yesterday,
though i haven't cry out before shower.
saw my ex suitor in stripes and brown.
gave him a smile after that stare i noticed.
sweets + smiles makes my day.
perhaps, it's the person behind.
and yea, boyfriends are overrated by now.
fucker! i don't need a name.
i want to be loved, or feel such.
thanks trix.
i know it's simply a bunch of messages,
but hey baby, you're making it...
just don't go that quick as you came that swift
i need you.. and you.. and much of you.. i guess
this is it,
but not just it.
1st day of simbang gabi:
(family day for the 1st pre-dawn mass)
[pick : light red/orange + cream]
i'm with dad muna, while jay's with his family.
ok lang. sabi naman nga ni jays, it should be "from my heart".
wo ai ta (from my heart)!!! is that it? fucker =P
btw, here's some images (@ st. peter's church)
the end.
*yawn*
heh.
-- rocksteddy's single that might hit this december.. i just heard it yesterday while we're on our way to a shop. i'm teasing mom as i do some rock stuffs, and as the radio plays it, i tried to intone though i don't know it exactly.
"mahal kita... hindi mo alam", that's the only line i could remember as i browse for its lyrics last night. and that was stupid. several songs use that line. heh. yea, it was really stupid of me to look for it, having that particular part i have in mind.
that's a can-relate-song for i-don't-know-who..
and maybe, for that reason, i really have to make an effort knowing it.
opening the IE (again), i added some words that may resembles it. i put in "mahal kita pero hindi mo lang alam".. and then looked through some other blog sites (xanga and blogdrive) for any kismet.
3 sites and boom! haha. i knew i could find it =)
lucky me, so real...
here it goes:
matagal ko ng gustong malaman mo
matagal ko ng itinatago-tago 'to
nahihiyang magsalita
at umuurong aking dila
pwede bang bukas na
ipagpaliban muna natin 'to
dahil kumukuha lang ng tiyempo
upang sabihin sa iyo
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
mahal kita, kahit 'di mo lang alam
ohwoh..
matagal ko ng gustong sabihin 'to
matagal ko ng gustong aminin sa'yo
sandali, eto na at sasabihin ko na
ngayon na, mamaya
o baka pwedeng bukas na
dahil kumukuha lang ng buwelo
upang sabihin sa iyo
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
ohwoh..
ngunit kumukuha lng ng tiyempo
upang sabihin sa iyo
mahal kita pero hindi mo lang alam
hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman ako tinitignan
ayaw mo naman itanong sa akin
kasi baka nga naman hindi naman ikaw
at hindi ko rin naman sayo sasabihin
kasi ayoko pa sa ngayon na manligaw
mahal kita pero hindi nga lang halata
hindi halata kasi wala naman akong ginagawa
hindi ako kumikibo, hindi ako nagsasalita, wala!
pero hindi ako torpe
hindi ko lang talaga masabi sayo ng harapan
mahal kita pero dehins mo pa rin ramdam
hindi mo ko titingnan, hindi rin kita titingnan
lagi mo lang akong pakikiramdaman
lagi rin kitang pakikiramdaman
at araw-araw tayong magdededmahan
hanggang sa tayo ay magkabistuhan
pero ngayong malapit nang matapos ang kanta ko
nais kong magkaalaman na
nais kong ako na rin ang magsabi sayo ng harapan
kasi alam kong dun din naman ang tuloy nyan
at dalawa rin lang naman ang posibleng sagot diyan, oo o hinde
kaya ito na sasabihin ko na para matapos na
at hindi na magkatsismisan pa
sasabihin ko na para wala nang problema
at para hindi na rin kyong lahat nabibitin pa
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam
mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang ramdam
mahal kita, kahit 'di mo na ako tinitignan
mahal kta, kahit lagi mo na lang akong dinededma.
yay =P
that's it!!!
uh, mahal ko siya?
sino?
haha.
i told you, i can relate..
After seeing several statuses that goes with 12dp link, my interest boosts. Each of them was having their balance, rapidly increasing from time to time. I overlooked it beforehand, keeping in mind that it's the standard spam next to spread out. Weeks, yes not just days, and I've been ignoring those fags. I really don't care about that maybe-another-networking-copy. They have their balance and upgrades, except no cash outs (in hand). So how will I believe in such? And how will they earn the said bucks? But accepting the fact that "Time is Money", how about a try, right? There are several options to choose from. I can start out from the least amount and wait until what goes next.
And this is it. I entered their I-hope-not-a-spam-world @ http://www.12dailypro.com/, reading the General Terms of their Free/ Upgraded accounts and FAQs while having my tardy lunch. Then, I went back again to browse for some more information (facts, indeed) and registered to several tagged sites.
Read.
Think.
Doubt.
Judge.
Consider.
Recur.
(The attributes before conviction)
And tadah... without further ado, at last I'm registered! Just got my newly hot account! But wait, the looped segs will not end there as is. That's merely a registry. I'm not yet through deciding on what to give out. I want to hand over the medium but the progress goes to the advanced. Ugh, I'm all screwed up again by the proposal. I'll decide tomorrow, as the bank opens.
... of the things that could go wrong along the way. you'll get by, with a smile, you can't win at everything but you can try... hahaha. singing ah? Certainly stucked in my head after hearing it twice while we're on our way home. And yes, I did intone with it.
As for my awareness, landmarks really helps.
(mall of asia and blue wave in baclaran, sm makati in ayala, same goes with petron in pasay road, star mall & shangri-la in edsa, jollibee in fort boni/ guadalupe, rob galleria/ greenhills in ortigas, AFP in cubao, OS/ MZ in malate/ v. cruz, and so on.)
Being me nowadays labels a trekker, considering the fun and its angst. I'm enjoying the whole package even the times we're out of nowhere. And accordingly, my expectations run wild. Setting a higher standard of existence and control, leading into a different environment I want to be settled in, and underrating the usual.
I'm too young to be classic.
Time is for exploration, my dear.
It's for the better understanding of life.
I can no longer stay as is.
Goodbye maybe tomorrow.
It was a friendship that became a secret.
"Brokeback Mountain", featuring Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger for the story of two cowboys and their secretive affection.
There are places we can't return ...
There are lies we have to tell ...
There are truths we can't deny...
And from the survivors of the plane crash 815, Lost actors Josh Holloway and Dominic Monaghan will again subsist in an island for the love of their life in "A Boyfriend for Christmas".
All of them have a secret ...
All of them are Lost ...
SPONGECOLA UNA MUSIC VIDEO @ http://youtube.com/watch.php?v=EKvdQGe4QR4
[credits to punkmeister]
my own sc's album
[credits to eihcamhai]
haha. ano daw?
teka, malabo na ba ang mata mo? hindi mo bang makitang dalawa yan? ulul! dalawa talaga yan! repackaged yung isa. sa baba nung cd cover mismo. hahaha. trip ko lang manggago eh. wala akong magawa. damn.
eihca92skrap no more, i tell you
but it's skrap's birthday so...
just
a
happy 29th birthday jeff
happiness for you and your wife
oh well that's it
can i post something?
sure i can. it's my blog..
haha. can you imagine how i treasure those?
pictures, as well.
will it be that i'm missing you?
i know i shouldn't, though in some cases oo.
fucker yung mga nangyari eh.
i'm a sinner,
you're a sinner,
we're both =)
and so, it's your first birthday with her (your wife).
it's almost a year na rin.
but hey, i'll still be here.
there'll always be a vacant shit for you.
ok now, enough eihca. enough of skrap. heh.
smart & pretty me (than her) eh!
-end of this crap-
My writings nowadays were absurd.
Happenings were just normal and the people who are involved in the story are still them.
Troubles are actually the same, but actually not.
It contradicts in every way and I just let it happen for I'll not be bias for any main.
Pleasure is overrated.
Thus, I can't even discern any difference.
Of them, yes.
Change, I tell you.
The nauseous needs a therapy now.
So sickening, my entry is so lame.
No topics in particular and resembles a poem.
Not even a hundred percent emo for your ego.
Reading this is just as upsetting as is.
Fucker.
You'll never understand.
happy birthday jesse!
loff you =*
sana ganito ka ka-happy
uh, ayoko ng ganito eh (seryoso, though cute pa rin)
pero eto ung pinaka
mr. senglot!
heh =P
there isn't just one person for one of us,
but hey baby, can you be the one for me?
kiss me before we ran out of chances
then let's get pissed and watch porn
(LOL)
just kiss me instead
I've been so passive, so pathetic.
Unconcerned and not fragile,
Possessively inclined, but not overrated.
Easy, Rest, Break
Much to enjoy...
That's what you call "ME", four months earlier.
But last night, I used this line as my status (in YM, of course)
"I'm here, waiting for you, to break my heart =) kaya mo?"
For that instance, I felt unaccompanied
Like I'm on my own with no one to love or even touch
Getting weak, damn cold, I needed a hug or more (of it, I guess)
And what's more is how "I MISS HIM" (the real one and not any fancy or fling)
It was just yesterday that I felt that way
Unloved
Needed love
In-love
Yes, at last, I realized that I love him
Although its mixed with pathetical ideas
Thinking of all the shits I've done
Thinking it's too late for that realization
Thinking he's almost gone (even without the official "the end")
Expectations gone as is
There's nothing pending
Until its 10 o'clock and he called
Made me glad
Made me feel at ease (again)
Made me loved
Now, its not the typical talk anymore
We're still awake at 3
Keeping it
Saving it
Loving it
And so,
I'm done with the other side of me
Forgetting the pain, way over
There's another life, in love, as morning comes
After 4 months
I could feel it now
Your dorky presence and you.
1. Which is more important for you in a relationship: Love or Trust?
* love goes first =X
2. The person u love or the person who loves you?
* uh, the person who loves me... or should i collide?
3. Short or long courtship?
* it can be without (as what yel have in mind)
4. Which is easier for you: to forgive or to forget?
* to forgive
5. Do you agree that once you've loved a person uwould never stop loving her/him?
* in my case, no.
6. Should one stay in a relationship just for oldtime sake?
* some does that or did i? =) well, it can be a yes or no.. haha
7. what do you think is the common cause ofbreak up?
* another party (not just the third ah)
8. Is there really a need for second chances?
* not in all times
9. TINGIN MO BA PWEDE KANG MAGMAHALNG IBA?
* hindi naman mapipigil yun eh. we have the right to love =X
10. NAGMAHAL KA NA BA?
* a stupid question ah? sure does.
11. SWEET KA BA?
* sa mga ka-close ko yes.. do i have to explain?
12. MATIGAS BA ULO MO PAG INLOVE?
* in what terms? (questioning a question.. haha)
13 TINGIN MO ANO DAPAT GAMITIN PUSO OUTAK?
* what comes first (head or heart)? head right.. pero ang english ng utak eh brain.. so how is that?
14. DAPAT BA MAS MAHAL MO O MAHAL KA?
* mas mahal ako =)
15. NASAKTAN KA NA BA?
* sure does.
16 NAKARECOVER KA BA AGAD?
* yeppy, with friends and events.
17. TRY MO NG UMIYAK NG DAHIL SA LOVE?
* much lament. angst!
18. ANONG PINAKASWEET NA GINAWA NIYAPARA SA YO?
* everytime he sings (with that looks ah)..
19. KUNG MAY KANTA KA NGAYON TUNGKOLSA LOVELIFE MO, ANO YON?
* 'hiling' or 'collide' will do =) and uh, panaginip lang of paramita
20. ANONG PINAKA MAHIRAP NA KAILANGANPAG DAANAN PAG NAGMAMAHALAN?
* fading instances due to time
21. GUMANTI KA NA BA NUNG NASAKTAN KA?
* revenge is sweet
22. MAY NAGMAMAHAL BA SAYO NGAYON?PUWERA PAMILYA HA?!
* marami. haha. and yea, i love them =X
23. ARE YOU SURE NA MAHAL KA DIN NIYA?
* beyond doubt, yes
from manila dj club, back to cavite...
wow. i'm finally home @ 1am =)
8 hours with irene, we've been lost nga ba?
yey! may ticket na kami sa r&j!
heh.
thanks trix (sa pagtawid? jaywalking eh)
2:30am na, i'm done with this..
i'm so drained..
rest me.. hahaha.. ano daw?
;)
and this is it
It's already 12:56am and this is relaxing. I'm finally in my place (on the pc to be exact) with the tracks that plays for almost a hundredth time. Everything is back as is as I dredge up all those occurrences happened, hours (by hours) ago.
I'm about to leave at 10:30am, half an hour early for our 1st class. Till the phone rang and...
"Hey, it's me Jovie... remember?"
"Uh, yeppy... you need something?"
"Oh, are you in hurry? I just wanted to talk to you, after 8 years of..."
"Wow, you still know my number ah?"
"Sure does... how's life? Graduating ka na right?"
"Hopefully, yes"
"You still have that voice from the past... you know? It's still innocently sweet but actually not"
"I don't know where you catch those words but it does awakes me"
The call ended up before my class starts. Thanks God I'm not late, however, it certainly grip my mind for the whole hour. A piece from the past keeps on rotating though it's stagnant. And his façade was blurring inside. After eight years, he finally called and said those lines I need at present. Should I be pleased that someone remembered? Btw, he's my first boyfriend in grade school.
Then, the news alarmed 10 minutes before 1 o'clock; There'll be no classes for our last subject. Wow. That was sharp. But we still left the room 10 minutes after, and had our habit outside. I saw James waiting there for a ride. I walk in without expecting him to call out, but he did... yea he did yell out my name that I leaned back to give him my warm smile. That's the second "J" to buzz me.
Next up. Home.
Switch of dress code and so.
Got back at the camp at 1pm. My girl friends were still having their lunch so I decided to warm up outside. The cig was burning in average as JM hits me with a kiss on my forehead.
"Yosi girl..."
"Haha. I'm done baby"
"Calling me baby ha ate?"
As our hands clasped and went inside the store.
"Wow... hell of a playboy chief ah"
"Girl, what's with the sinned hand"
"Fools that keeps on fooling... haha... What's wrong with it?"
"Soooo defensive?"
"Have you seen Jice?"
"Not yet"
"Well, he's already waiting for you outside"
"Absorbing the pain you will give him later upon seeing JM"
"Lament oh lament...Hahaha... I have to go na pala"
"Hold on a sec" JM whispered... he gave me a warm embrace and kissed me again. "I love you hon, Ingat ha". Embracing him back, I just smiled for it was the third buzz I'll be having.
Jice stood there for an hour and I'm sooo late but I think it's still okay for he truly understands... well, he constantly does, and will always be. And so, we spent the other 8 hours together, exhibiting what's more to be seen. For all times, his approach never failed. He's willing to help and be that "someone" around. He even tried to smoke again, once I did. I can't feel him though I'm pleased to have him as a friend, or perhaps, a suitor behind.
"Can I walk you home?"
"Maybe some other time..."
"Ok... Uh, I'll still be in the line, waiting"
"Thanks"
"He's my 4th buzz", I told myself as I walk through the blocks and suddenly got a message from JM.
"Hi hon... I miss you."
"Hey... I just got home. I'm running out of credits na. Give me a call after a min"
And as soon as I entered my room, the phone rang and it was Jobert, my "boyfriend". At last, he remembered. It's such a miracle happened, I can clearly hear the 5th buzz on the phone.
"Oh what makes you so busy?"
"Huh? Who's this?"
"Who else do you expect to call you?"
"Ah... oh... Why?"
"What time ka umuwi?"
"I just got home"
"Sige, I'm going there"
"But it's late at 9..."
"So, ayaw mo?"
"Can you make it in a lower tone?"
"What?"
"Double time your world... sige na, I'll be waiting inside"
A quick call that ends up so nonsense, oh I don't know... we always have that typical talk as friends do. Well, we're much of a "tropa" than being "committed". And it's really something to bother me at all times.
Then, the phone rang again and I assume its JM. We talked for some point until Jobert came. I have to hang it up before Jobert acts oddly.
"Khei's outside eh, can you call me later?"
"Uh, let's go out tomorrow..."
"Ok. I'll see you up after lunch."
I didn't bring out my guitar. I wanted a talk that'll set the outside world with much attention. And it started in a different way, not what I presume.
"Tell me the truth, sinong kasama mo kanina?"
"I went there alone, why are you questioning me?"
"Nakita ka ng tropa eh"
"You're not the one who has seen it right?"
"Just tell me the truth"
"That's the truth. I'm with no one ok."
So, I lied in every question he asked even if there's a basis. But I'm considering it as a white lie, for it's not that cruel, in my means. I just had the fucking nerve to lie over and over. Until he was calmed and almost believed in the damn things I said.
It was cold beyond and he was looking for a hug, the calming pressure made him to initial but I moved...
"What?"
"It's just a hug... look, I miss you"
"Wow. You do?"
"Hehe. Yea... Happy 4 months princess"
"4 months? I thought it's only a week"
"Haha... apat na buwan na tayo"
"Nasaan yung buwan?"
Err... the air turned me as cold as it is. That moment, it's like everything is erased from my memory. I can't even sense any love (for him). My mind merely sets to think of what will be the outcome of that talk. I want to break through. I want him no more. I want to escape from the reality that he still owns me, though "own" does not mean "authority", and so-so.
It turned 12 in the midnight...
"It's getting cold, you're supposed to get a rest inside"
"You know what? You can go now without those alibis if you want to"
"It's really getting cold..."
"Just leave."
"Ok. I'm going."
He closed the door while I'm glued on the bench. I didn't even glance. I don't care at all.
"Didn't mean to hurt you badly.. Don't think that I am fooling around with you.. So sorry for the time you've wasted on me.. So sorry for the things that you went through.. But I know that the problem's within me.. You're so nice but your love don't deserve me.. Or maybe I'm just so scared to fall in love again.." The music played and it speaks about something. And the lines, "Don't say goodbye, I need some time for a while before I give my heart away", that lines were beginning to stick up.
Angst.
Until, there's another call awaited in line for that same night. It's Jayson, an unforgotten dork I loved (or still?).
"Kumski!"
"Yep?"
"Gawa mo?"
"Nagsesenti..."
"Got a fight from the lion?"
"He's really a psychotic nerd"
Time elapses as I keep on talking. I can't stand the pain I felt (from my boyfriend). Jayson becomes the outlet of my grief. He had the funniest gag to poke me, making the pessimistic me to be the optimistic me. All me eh?
"Andito naman kasi ako, tatanga tanga ka pa"
"Haha. Excuse you!"
"Bright Girl ka sana eh"
"Pungik!"
"What's that term?"
"It defines YOU"
"haha. Ano nga yun? Pun-gik?"
"Uh, maliit.. parang ikaw"
"Parang ikaw hindi? Matangkad pa kaya ako sa'yo"
"Pero you are too small for a male height what-so-ever"
"Eh hindi yun maliit"
"Tae bastos ka nanaman"
"Hindi ako nakahubad"
"Grrrr..."
"Hahaha"
(sniff)
"Alam mo ang angas mo rin talaga"
"Bakit nanaman?"
"Wala naman.. Actually napasaya mo ko"
"At all times naman right?"
"Ganda ng banat mo eh"
(sniff again)
"May gusto akong sabihin"
"Ano?"
"Yun"
"Alin?"
"Nasabi ko na nga eh"
"Ang labo mo kaya"
(last sniff)
"What time is it?"
"12:30"
"Tanginang 12:30 yan, static na"
"Hahahaha"
"Pag 12:40 tayo na"
"Eh 12:50 na nga eh"
"Aww.. Edi tayo na"
"Hahaha. Is that a comeback?"
"Mahal..."
"Hahaha. Bakit mura?"
"Hahaha sige yan ang tawagan natin"
"Err.. that was just a joke"
That was fun and sweet. But he was funnier and sweeter. With me, that turned out to be the funniest and the sweetest.
Guess he's the 6th buzz and the last.
Now, I'm done =)
(after 2 hours of writing and reminiscing)
Awaken by a cold breeze, who would have not imagined it isn't December yet? belated happy birthday ~ addie and pau happy birthday~ che and jhu adv happy birthday ~ joms and ma and uh happy 4th to you... though it's not really a happy what-so-ever
That though there'll be no snowballs in this territory, our aerial domain is in a similar way filled by frost. The air of Christmas is here, almost. And I love its space, this feeling, and events like...
Various decorations were placed in sites (while some clubs are set in their ways even if it's not Christmas)
Nine days crowd for the Catholic tradition Simbang Gabi (actually, a pre-dawn mass)
Favorite attractions like Bibingka and Puto-bumbong are associated with the pre-dawn mass
There's a room for Christmas flicks (I mostly like the romantic comedy films than the comedy as is)
Kids were grouped for their Christmas Carols to be heard every night
Fruitcakes are available in the Cake Shops (and other non-cake shops? ok, that's a food shop or a street store. haha)
Several gifts and greeting cards were early mailed
Two to three weeks of school-holiday (there's no classes.. I'm soooo vacant)
Geez... who'll not love the idea?
However, it will end as soon as Christmas is over
For it's not forever (like us)
But it'll happen every year (not like us? Haha)
*sneeze*
Oh well, I don't really have anything to broaden up
I just want to write my early blog =)
A copy of Ultraelectromagneticjam (Eraserheads Tribute Album) makes my day.
Mainggit ka kums! Hahaha *poke you*
The 17-tracks Tribute includes: Alapaap (6 Cycle Mind), Magasin (Paolo Santos), Spoliarium (Imago), Overdrive (Barbie Almalbis), With A Smile (South Border), Tikman (Sugarfree), Ligaya (Kitchie Nadal), Torpedo (Isha), Superproxy2K6 (Francis M.), Huwag Kang Matakot (Orange And Lemons), Pare Ko (Spongecola), Huwag Mo Nang Itanong (MYMP), Hard To Believe (Cueshe), Alcohol (Radioactive Sago Project), Maling Akala (Brownman Revival), Ang Huling El Bimbo (Rico J. Puno), Para Sa Masa (Various Artists)
It's a well done set though it cannot hit every person.
Some (or most?) merely over judge it, having their tactless front and whatnots. Damn... That's more disappointing than what they have to say for each band that performed. The compilation isn't a crap at all. Hell yea. I just heard it and it sounds reasonable. Good enough for a tribute, yea it's a tribute so don't expect that each of them will perform as same as the Eheads do.
Well, it isn't an Ehead-match-o-challenge for them to compete for. The bands have their own way, their own name, and their own effort to play their part. As well as you are not asked to award them right? So can you just respect them even if you are so unmoved? React righteously for there's nothing to cut you upon doing it. And hey, it's not a damn errand for you to shit me.
This entry looks different from all other existing bad shits =)
And that means....... I could step down to rest...
nyts jesse.
nyts jay.
nyts jeff.
nyts jobert.
nyts jan-jan.
nyts jam.
nyts joan.
nyts joyce.
nyts jeison.
and uh... nyts jedi(haha... nearly "J"?)
...or should I say "Helping the road families this Christmas?"
Our school organization decided to have certain donations for such inhabitants since Christmas is almost here...
Oopps... This should be a Tagalog entry...
title says "Para sa mga squatters"
*shut*
Hindi ko alam kung sino yung gagong officer na nag-suggest na yung mga squatters na yan ang tulungan namin at kung sino yung nag-approve nung idea na yun eh. Hindi sa ayokong tumulong o sa may galit lang ako sa mga squatters. Ang weak lang kasi nung suggestion kung bakit sila yung napili at hindi yung mas nangangailangan.
"Next week na kailangan yung toothpaste and toothbrush"
"Sus"
"Bakit?"
"Bakit? Bakit sa kanila?"
"Christmas eh"
"So?"
"Kailangan nating tumulong..."
"Kahit hindi Christmas pwede tayong tumulong diba?"
"Oo nga... pero lalo na pag Christmas"
"Oh? Eh bakit sa mga squatters?"
"Para sumaya sila ngayong Christmas. Hehe"
"Yun na yun?"
"Oo... teka bakit ba ang dami mong tanong ah?"
"Nakakainis kasi"
"Naiinis kang tumulong?"
"Sa kanila oo"
Eh bakit ba sa mga squatters lang sa area namin na wala namang maitutulong? At sino bang hindi maiinis na tumulong sa mga yan na wala namang ginagawa sa community kung hindi magparami, manglimos, pumatay, magnakaw, at mangabuso?
"Nakabili ka na?"
"Yep"
"Oh? May Sale ba?"
"Sobrang bargain kaya"
"Saan?"
"Sa tiangge... hahahaha"
"Haha. Samahan mo rin ako mamaya ah?"
Ngayon, sinong gaganahan bumili ng high quality materials para sa mga yun? Kahit nga yata yung medium brands eh hindi mo pa rin maibibigay. Sapilitan ka na lang na magbibigay eh, bakit kailangang yung mahal pa na sa kanila lang naman mapupunta diba?
"Class, next week na yung canned goods........."
Heh. At meron pa ulit ah? Kaya hindi makuntento yang mga yan eh. Puro asa na lang kasi ang alam. Ano pa nga bang ieexpect ko? Wala ngang alam eh! Ayy teka, meron pala... ang gumawa ng krimen at makipag-sex sa kapwa squatter nila. Dun sila magaling eh. Skill ba? Astig yung talent nila diba? Gago! Hindi astig yung tawag dun! Kalaswaan at kabobohan yun! Isipin mo, nung year 2002, 3.4 million ang squatters sa Pilipinas. Ano pa ngayong 2005 at parating na 2006? Lalo pa silang dadami at ikakalat ang mababahong pagkatao nila.
"Gusto ko ng noodles"
"Para sa mga squatters?"
"Hindi eh"
"Bakit ano bang ibibigay mo sa mga yun? Sardines"
"Why not?"
Mabaho na nga, lalo pang babaho. Haha. Nakakagago talaga. Squatters na nga sila tapos sardines pa yung matatanggap nila. Wow fish! Hahahaha. At magrereklamo pa, imbes magpasalamat kahit na binigyan mo.
Ang dami pa naman kasing pwedeng tulungan eh. Marami pang options. Marami pang alternatives. Nakakaasar lang talaga kung bakit ganoon na lang yung pagpili ng pwedeng tulungan. Ah isa pa, hindi lang naman yun ang pagtulong ah. Marami pa ring paraan.
Oh yan, tatapusin ko na kahit marami pa akong gustong ilagay. Mas kailangan kong mag-aral kaysa pag-tuunan ng pansin yung ganitong bagay. Gusto ko lang mag-react. Wala namang masama dito sa entry ko. Dahil kung meron man... baka tinamaan ka lang ;)
meeeeeeeeep.. haha. my new layout doesn't suck that much, right?
guess i had the right inspiration (that made this possible? oh yea.. thanks)
btw, that's kate and sawyer epitomizing infatuation.
gnyt jesse. thanks for the recent IM's... and the"ingat"...
ok that's it. it's dawn and i'm soooooo drained.
i love g4
(with ic)
heh
=)
Princess juLy wrote: [1] hell how dork i am to act so damn snobby in my message but i just can't react unassumingly. it's just that.. if you like him, just tell it directly (to fatal) and dont even try to bother other people's life. up to when you guys will unlock your mentality about love? when will you be aware of how the time elapses once we have an alternative... and yea, it is a damn gift of God for us to move on (mostly, when we fall). for it isnt about finding the loop holes from our past that is so over and done. now isn’t yesterday its about the present of what will bump and exist. damn im just fed up with this crossly heart's catastrophe. we can be frndz ryt.. write me back and God Bless thnx ****************** and uh, harshly speaking, your message is so annoying. yea, it really does.. particularly, the syntax used. oh well, i'm not having any lectures... my sensitivity merely had its confines.. much headache ne?! just piss me off, will you?! don't act so kind or innocent. it's not cute in any case.. damn witty message.. you thought its appealing? well, it's more of a trash! crappppppppp...... fatal don't even know you, so don't give a damn about us.. for it's not even your business! and what we had or have isn't a BIG DEAL after all. you are mentally absorbed at your age.. get a life =/
can u add me up... hi im very curious lang about you and fatal db kaw ung tumatwag na pare q sa kanya and then wat happen i know naging kau ni fatal i am ryt? mail me bak and thnx
> july
******************
My reply: [1]
it might be silly adding you up for your curiosity. but hey, i'm not being mean here. it's just that, what it is to snoop for with my profile? is it for you to be able to see the unseen? why don't you use fatal's account to fully view my page? now, that's an idea you could imply.
******************
Princess juLy wrote: [2]
im sorry i did not mean anything about it before kc i just saw ur testimonial with fatal sweet nyo kc dun kala q nga kau parin and lately i just open my frndster and saw a new gf of fatal nagulat ako thats why i write you.. Im sorry kung nag iba ung naging tingin mo sa sulat ko ha.. d ko tlga sinsadya un.. im sorry tlga..
My reply: [2]
erm. what the hell is that?
******************
look, she's 25 and that's how insanity cracks her.
(she's 6 years older than me eh)
now, could somebody tell me...
am i too cruel about it?
hey, i'm just sweet *laughs* and yea... mad (almost)
[4e8i1h5c1a6m2h3a4i2.lost]
